SKINNY FAT CHICK

Girls change in front of each other. At least my friends and I did when I was growing up. It was a little easier then because there was a lot less confusion.   We knew we were girls and we knew we liked boys. I’m not going there with this story.  I don’t remember even having one single conversation about that topic as a teenager.   The world is a different place for teenagers today.

I was with a friend in college. We were changing to go somewhere and I happen to look over at her. She was tall and thin.  It occurred to me, she is the fattest skinny girl I have ever seen.  I was telling another friend about it.  She said “Of course she is fat.  She’s always been fat.” I said she is a whole lot skinnier than me. How can a skinny person be fat?  She said, “Skinny doesn’t mean that you are healthy and it for sure doesn’t mean you are fit.”   She went on to say, “You weigh a lot more than I do but you are also a lot more fit than I am.”

Our skinny fat friend was beautiful and I’m not shaming her for being skinny.  I always wanted to be tall and thin.  I am neither.  Short and thick would better describe my stature.

I hate all the labels that go along with weight.  The important thing is to be healthy. I mean mentally, emotionally, physically, and especially spiritually healthy.

Like many others, I struggled with my body image earlier in life.  I was healthy and fit but not skinny.  My Mama was skinny.  I wanted to be little like her.  In middle-school I refused to eat.  There’s a word for that, anorexia.  I didn’t know it was a thing back then.  I got skinny. 

Did people bow down and tell me how awesome it was that I was skinny? NO!  What I heard was “She’s too skinny.”, “She doesn’t eat”, “She needs a hamburger.” I still didn’t think I was skinny enough.  I think at that time I weighed around 98lbs.  I’m only 5’1 so it isn’t as skinny as you think.

My anorexia did not get treated with counseling.  When my parents had enough of it they decide to end it.  My Dad brought me a plate of biscuit and gravy.  He said, in a gruff tone, “You will eat this and you will go back to eating like a normal person or else you won’t play basketball again! And, I mean it!”  He did mean it.  I argued briefly. Then he said, “We can stop you. You can’t play if we tell the school you can’t. Eat it or not but you won’t be allowed to do anything if you don’t.”  I wasn’t about to quit basketball or be stuck at home.  I ate the food.  Even after that day, I had a good friend who would always encourage me to eat. Every time I went to her house she’d watch to make sure I was eating.  It was okay.  My bout with anorexia was over.

Again: I hate all the labels that go along with weight.  The important thing is to be healthy.  I mean mentally, emotionally, physically, and especially spiritually healthy.

Don’t worry about the labels other people give you. Be careful of the labels you give yourself.  You are beautifully and wonderfully made.  Be you.

I want to be fit.  I’ve taken some time away from working out and my body has noticed. I want to be healthy.  I’ve spent a year eating food that wasn’t fuel for my body. Inflammation is a beast and the root cause for most disease.  I must focus more on nutrition and exercise.  I want to feel healthy like I did in my twenties.  Don’t laugh!  With proper nutrition and exercise, it is possible and I will do it.  I will be fit and healthy.  I will look, feel, and have the vigor of a twenty-year-old.  I claim it.  I claim my health in Jesus name.  The bible says He wants us to prosper even as our soul prospers.

I say all of that to say this:

To achieve that twenty-year-old level of health and fitness I must make sacrifices.  I must refrain and limit myself on some things I enjoy greatly like cookies, french- fries, and bread.  I must totally abstain from my favorite addiction – Diet Pepsi.  Victory won’t come without a fight. 

The same is true in my spiritual life.  If I am ever to reach my potential in Christ it means I must limit myself in some areas.  It also means totally abstaining in other areas, especially with my favorite sin.  Stop, don’t judge me.  We all have a favorite sin. In the Bible Paul called it a thorn in his side.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Hebrews 12:1 NLT